The Wilderness

Allow me to review the two principal things that we have already talked about. The first, is that there is no way to be a true, living, growing Christian, without becoming familiar with the Spirit of Christ. It is not a matter of human learning, human discipline, human anything. Christianity is the Spirit of Christ living, teaching, changing, filling, and reigning in the heart of man. And in order to become familiar with this Spirit, we must learn to turn inward, and to pay attention to the appearings of the Spirit of God in our own hearts. We cannot first look outward. We must first look inward. I do not mean inward towards ourselves. I mean inward, toward the temple where the Lord appears. 

This, I believe, is why Solomon, in his long prayer of dedication after building the temple, several times talks about turning and praying towards the temple of God. He says, for instance: 

“May Your eyes be open toward this temple night and day, toward the place of which You said, 'My name shall be there,' that You may hear the prayer which Your servant makes toward this place. And may You hear the supplication of Your servant and of Your people Israel, when they pray toward this place. Hear in heaven Your dwelling place; and when You hear, forgive.” 1 Kings 8:29-30

This wasn’t a magical place, or a magical direction to turn while praying. Neither the temple of bricks and wood, nor a specific direction have any spiritual value in themselves. But there is a place where God deals with man, a place where His light and His cloud appear. And that place is within. We have all read many times in Scripture that Christ is within us, the kingdom of God is within us, the power of God works in us, etc. Well, then it most naturally follows that we should pay attention to what is going on within us. We should pay attention to even the smallest manifestations of His light in our hearts. 

That was the first thing that we talked about. The second thing, was that turning to this light, or seed, or grace that appears to the heart, loving it’s appearing, and clinging to it, will most certainly bring you on a journey. The life of faith is a journey out of one man and into another. It is not a stagnant thing. It is not a new position, or a status, where God now sees you differently than you really are. It is not just having your sins forgiven, or having a ticket to heaven in your pocket. It is an exodus, a journey out of one man, or nature, and into another. It is shown to be a journey—a true transformation, a real exodus out of our native land and nature—in every one of the Old Testament pictures and shadows. And the heart that walks in the Spirit today, must actually walk with the Spirit. I mean, there is somewhere to go. There is a race to run. And there is a way to run the race. Paul describes these things clearly. 

And now, in this last session, I want to talk to you about the nature of this journey. I want to try to describe it to you, not only from Biblical descriptions, but also from my own (confessedly limited) experience of it. I want to talk a little about what to expect when you cling to and follow the life and light of the Spirit of God. And this is for the encouragement of the travelers, because there is great need for encouragement in this journey. There are few travelers. There are many ideas, many imaginations, many fancy words and strong opinions, but few travelers. And the travelers encounter things in their journey that are often very confusing and discouraging and difficult. 

My friends, if anyone tells you that there is not a journey to undertake, a real exodus to make, one that is difficult and dangerous and narrow, such a person is still in spiritual Egypt. They have not travelled, or they could not say such things. They may be very intelligent, charming, and interesting to listen to. They may have seen some true things from a distance. They may quote Bible verses according to their comprehension, gather great crowds, and excite emotions, but they are not traveling back to the Father’s house. Because being a follower of Christ is a journey out of the fall, through the flaming sword, and back into the paradise of God. 

It is true that you are immediately joined to Christ, the Head. But if the life of that Head is really working in you, if you are “holding fast to the Head” as Paul says (Col 2:19), then it is leading you in the same path, in the same obedience to the Spirit, the same denial of the will of man, the same trials and tribulations, the same cross, and towards the same resurrection life. If you are not traveling, then you are not holding fast to the Head. 

It may be true to say that you are baptized into the One who is already dead to sin and alive to God. But if His life is truly leading in you, growing in you, then you are on a journey of dying daily, being conformed to His death, carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, until the life and light and love of Jesus reigns alone in a purified temple. This is the journey that I am speaking of. 

What is the Spirit of God trying to do in you? Do you think He is trying to convince you that you have already arrived, that you are already safe, that all things are already made new, even when you, your family, and your friends, can all see that you are still alive in the first birth, loving the world, seeking the things of time, following the desires of the eyes and the flesh? Is this how Jesus dealt with His churches in the first three chapters of Revelation? Did he tell them to relax, to not worry about their condition, that all was finished, and they were rich and in need of nothing? Didn’t He tell them just the opposite of this? 

Again, what is the Spirit of God trying to do in you? He is trying to remove from you every form of sin, darkness, deadness, evil, selfishness, pride, blindness, anger, vanity, EVERYTHING that has found a place and a life in you, but that has no place or life in Jesus Christ. He is trying to destroy the works of the devil in you, to crush the seed of the serpent in you, to transform you into the image and virtue of the Son of God. Some of you are perhaps wanting to say, “He already did it!” Well then, show me what He has done! Show me a life of righteousness, purity, and innocence. Show me your heavenly wisdom, your divine humility, your heart made new and made clean by the washing and renewing of the Holy Spirit. Show me love pouring out from a pure heart, a good conscience, and an unfeigned faith. Show me the fruits of the Spirit, the power of the Spirit, the kingdom of God manifest in righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Show me a good tree with good fruits, a new creation where all things are of God, a self-denying life that does nothing through selfish ambition or conceit. 

But if you can’t show me these things, then please join me on a journey. Don’t tell me it is somehow already done, but not yet made manifest. Don’t tell me it’s true in God’s eyes, but we just can’t see it. Don’t tell me that it’s real in eternity, but not yet real in time. Tell me that you are ready to deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow Christ out of one nature and into another. Because THEN you will begin to make progress.

Now, in order to lead you out of all that is evil, selfish, proud, fallen, and unclean, to actually FREE you from these things and end your relationship with them, the Lord must lead you into the sight and sense of them. This is absolutely essential. And this is called “the wilderness” in Scripture. The wilderness is not a place. It is not just a story in the Old Testament. The wilderness is the dealing of God by which He shows you what you are, what is in your heart, and what you must be willing to leave behind if you are going to continue moving forward. 

And as I said before, I will say again: if anybody tells you that there is no wilderness experience for the new covenant Christian, it is because they haven’t left their own inward Egypt. They have not yet allowed God to show them their own heart. 

The wilderness is a necessity, not because God wants us to suffer, but because there are so many things in us that were born in Egypt, and that cannot inherit the Promised Land. It is necessary because in our natural condition, we cannot travel. We are like men carrying hundreds of suitcases of flesh, and sin, and darkness, and corruption. We cannot move carrying all of those things. And even if we could move, we could not bring those things with us where we are going. And so, again, the heart must be led into the sight and sense of these things, so that we can be made willing to part with them. God will not take them from us against our will. They must be placed on His altar. They must be offered as a willing sacrifice, which is our reasonable service. We must see them, feel them, hate them, turn our will against them, and then bring them to the High Priest who stands ready with his knife to slay them. 

This is so important! This is one of the most important things that you must understand about our journey as Christians. If we are going to grow, if we are going to cross the wilderness, inherit the kingdom, and finish our race with joy, then all that is contrary to Christ must be seen in His light, turned against, and surrendered as a whole burnt offering. He has to lead us into the sight and sense of our fall, and give us a daily opportunity to die to what He died to, and live in what He has given us. 

And this is the reason why following Christ is called a narrow and difficult way. This is where so many get confused, and get stuck, and are ready to turn back. This is where Israel began to grumble and complain and look back. This is where Lot asked if he could stop short of the mountain and stay in a much closer town. This is where Abraham cries out, “Oh, why cannot Ishmael live before You and be the promised son!” You see, we love the invitation of God, we love the sound of a promise, a relationship with God, a Promised Land. We love to tell the story of how God opened the Red Sea and overcome all obstacles to create a way for us in the wilderness. BUT… when He leads us into the sight and the sense of our own selfishness, pride, murmuring, religious imaginations, appetites, preferences, opinions, our own deadness, dryness, emptiness, hunger, thirst, our own laziness, vanity, rebellion, this is when we want to appoint for ourselves another leader to lead us in a different direction. 

And I often feel that the saddest part of this is that, when people begin to see and feel these things in their own hearts, there are suddenly so many voices in the church today telling them that they have missed their way! The church often says that seeing and feeling these evil things in our heart is not necessary. They say this is not the work of the Lord, that the wilderness is not necessary for a Christian, that these judgments are the work of the devil, that we shouldn’t expect to be perfect because that’s what grace is for. Yes, suddenly you hear the loud voices of those who are not traveling. 

Many have gotten to this point and travelled no further. Many have been touched and awakened by the hand of God, and led out into the wilderness. But when they begin to see and feel the true condition of their heart, and what must be overcome there, they stop and begin to invent theologies and doctrines explaining why there is no need to follow on. These theologies are many and they are very diverse, but they all have one thing in common. They all unite in the belief that there is no way, or no need, to truly overcome sin and evil in the human heart, to really be changed into the nature and image of Christ in this life.

One stands up and calls to the crowd of confused travelers, saying: “It is impossible to change in this life, you must wait until you put off the body.” Another stands up and says, “Don’t worry, God has provided grace for people like you, and grace will accept you just the way you are.” Another says, “God already sees you perfect and calls you perfect, even when you live in the nature that He came to free you from.” Another says, “You only need to confess your sins to a priest, and receive the sacrament, and all your evil is washed away.” Another who is a little more clever says, “Don’t worry, your spirit is already perfect, and now your soul just needs to be evangelized by your spirit,” or perhaps, “God is in eternity, and your body is in time, and therefore God sees you according to eternity even while your body continues sinning in time.” And still another says, “Paul said he did things that he hated, and so it must be with all of the saints,” even though in the very next chapter Paul talks about overcoming that condition. And on and on they go, with more and more ideas. It’s a giant buffet of doctrines, and you can pick whatever one best fits your preferences or personality. But all of them will stop you from traveling. 

I do not mean to sound critical. I have been part of the problem. I have believed and preached errors like these, and have been a stumbling block for people, and therefore I have no right to stand above anybody else. But I must tell you that the Lord has judged me for these things because they are wrong, and because they do not help the simple-hearted and sincere ones who really want to experience the gospel. The Lord has shown me great mercy and kindness, more than I can set forth in words. But His mercy has come with judgment, and judgment has become my greatest friend. 

And so I am desiring to speak to the sincere ones today, to the ones who are poor in spirit, and who mourn because of their sins, and who hunger and thirst for righteousness, and want a pure heart more than anything else in this world. To you I want to say, the Spirit of God will lead you into the wilderness where judgment will become your door of hope. The Spirit will make you see and feel the true condition of your heart, and there you may have to weep for a time, while the world around you rejoices and sings of things that they do not possess. And as you practice the truth, you will draw closer to the light, and see with more and more clarity that your deeds have been evil. In the words of Ezekiel:

Then you will remember your evil ways and your deeds that were not good; and you will loathe yourselves in your own sight, for your iniquities and your abominations. (Ezek. 36:31)

I want to say to you (and sometimes I want to SHOUT out loud) that these ARE the dealings of God with the children of men. These are the works of kindness, the works of wisdom, the manifestations of mercy towards all who desire to overcome. I want to tell you not to be confused when after starting to see and feel your Leader, He leads you into the wilderness where all that is hidden in your heart will rise to the surface. Even our Savior was led by the Spirit into the wilderness. Although in His case, the only thing that rose to the surface was patience, obedience, and perfect submission to His Father. 

But with us there is much that we do not know and cannot see. We do not know ourselves like we think we do. We can’t really see ourselves until we see ourselves from His view. We don’t know the difference between our strengths and our weaknesses, between that in us which can serve God, and that which can never serve Him. We don’t know the difference between our own ideas and the mind of the Lord, between our own zeal and the guidance of the Spirit, between our own works for Him, and His work in us. And so the Lord brings you to the place where you can see these things, and keeps you there until His view of you becomes your view of yourself. And this is called humility. 

So don’t be surprised if by following His Spirit you are made much weaker than you have ever been. I know that the world is saying that God will make you strong. But the truth is that God will make you weak. Don’t be surprised if you lose your confidence in yourself, or if you feel like you are walking backwards and not forward, or if sometimes you cry out with David, “I am a worm, and no man!” (Psa. 22:6) Don’t be surprised if sin becomes exceedingly sinful, and you feel for a time that you are more unclean than ever before. And don’t be surprised if all of this takes years to learn. 

If any of you begin to feel these things, or are already feeling these things, as a result of trying to pay attention to His light, and seeking to walk in and with His Spirit, then I want to say to you that you are on the right road. Don’t let murmuring or confusion enter into your heart. These things are necessary.  This is the narrow path. “Through many tribulations you must enter the kingdom of God.” (Acts 14:22) Don’t listen to the doctrines of the multitudes who don’t want to travel. There is just one thing to do, and that is to pick up your cross today, and keep going. Put your hand to the plow and don’t look back. Be like Joshua and Caleb were in their generation, of whom the Lord testified: “they have a different spirit in them and follow Me fully.” (Num. 14:24) 

And as you move on, everything in you that is contrary to the nature of your Savior will be seen, will be hated, will be given over to death, and you will become free from it. In your obedience to the Spirit, He will put to death the deeds of the flesh. In your submission to the Spirit, He will purify your souls so that you can love with a pure heart.